


i love you;

by MistyMoon



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Have fun reading it, M/M, this is the biggest mistake ive ever made
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 05:31:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5485427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyMoon/pseuds/MistyMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i love you<br/>you say, because his eyes make you want to melt and his smiles mess with the butterflies in your stomach, and even though he might not be hearing you, you need to say it<br/>i love you<br/>you say, because there are black spots in your vision and he's screaming so loud you can't hear yourself, but you can't bring yourself to say anything other than that.<br/>-<br/>this is how your story begins<br/>and this is how it ends</p>
            </blockquote>





	i love you;

**Author's Note:**

> for the dragon age secret santa!!! my secret santa was @rackyroo on tumblr and man i had so much fun with this - tho i might write some pure fluff after this tbh i feel bad lmao  
> and happy birthday rackyroo!!! im sorry i made u suffer on ur birthday omg i still love u <33

It's been weeks, months, since you kissed him. It felt _magical_. He was slow and careful, but that was exactly what you wanted back then. It felt like nothing could be better than that.  
 _Boy_ , you were wrong.  
Now, his lips felt extremely chapped, but they felt so good, so right, against yours (which weren't in a better condition) and you could still smell the thick scent of sweat on him, but it didn't matter. His hands were on your hips, gripping tightly at your clothes.  
When you backed away from it, you were both out of breath. His eyes were glowing and you felt yourself blushing up to your ears. He was smiling, and that was only fuel to the red mess your face was becoming.  
There was no way you could properly describe him, and even if you found a way, it still wouldn't do him justice. There was no way to describe the way you felt when he smiled, when he tucked a hair behind your ear, when he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, when you woke up in the morning and he was looking at you like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.  
So when he's pushing you against the mattress, teeth biting into your neck, hands running through your entire body, from your hair to your legs, you're feeling a mix of pleasure and relief and your mind is flooding with thoughts - how good his lips feel against your skin, how good it feels to finally have some skin to skin contact, how relieved you are to finally have him after months of want and need.  
(you realize that you've never heard him call your name with so much desire and lust and it makes you want to hear it everyday)  
-  
You wake up and you think it's a dream.  
He's laying right next to you, lips parted and messy hair, and he looks so perfect this can't be real.  
You brush his cheek with your thumb and you're tempted to just leave him there; you don't have the heart to wake him up.  
He looks like a dream, someone so perfect they could only be from your mind.  
Yet, he feels so real under your fingertip.  
"I love you." you say, because his eyes make you want to melt and his smiles mess with the butterflies in your stomach, and even though he might not be hearing you, you need to say it.  
"I love you too."  
You can see the small hint of a smile on his face, and suddenly his eyes are open and he's looking at you like he does every morning. You feel like your face is going to be set on fire, and you hide it with the blanket.  
He removes the blanket from your face and leans in, his forehead touching yours.  
"I love you." he says again, before leaning in and kissing you.  
You will never, _ever_ , tire of his kisses.  
-  
When you leave him behind in Skyhold after kissing him goodbye, you don't expect that to be the last time you'll ever feel his lips. When he told you he loved you in the morning, you didn't expect it to be the last time you'd hear it from him.  
You didn't expect any of this to happen.  
It was what brought both of you back to reality, if you're going to be honest.  
You were too immersed in the world you both created, where nothing bad ever happened, and as long as you had each other, you were both safe. You thought nothing could hurt him as long as you were with him.  
Though you never wondered if anything could hurt you while you were with him.  
(you gave your all to him and it was more than enough - he also gave his all to you, but it wasn't; you made him untouchable but he made you vulnerable)  
-  
You remember when you both promised to keep each other safe.  
You were wounded and you swore everything was spinning around you. You could've died, the healers had said. Your wounds were almost too severe.  
You remember the look on his eyes when he made his promise, and you wished you would never have to hear so much despair and fear in his voice ever again.  
(it's a shame your wishes aren't worth a thing; if they were, maybe this could have been avoided)  
-  
You wish you could've spent more time with him.  
You wish you could go back and give him more kisses, give him more of your love, give him more of _you_.  
You wish you could've known this day would come too soon.  
(you wish he wouldn't have to suffer like this, you wish he wouldn't have to carry this memory for the rest of his life)  
-  
You never wanted to hurt him like this.  
You never wanted to cause him any pain.  
You curse at the gods, but you doubt they're listening.  
-  
 _Let him move on_ , you whisper to no one, _let him be safe_.  
No one hears.  
-  
His screams are still echoing in the room when you leave.  
-  
He screams your name, not like all the other times he did, but with the despair and the fear in his voice you never wanted to hear again. He does not want to weep, he does not want to _accept_.  
He's on his knees, someone's hands holding him away from you (no, no, no, let him come, let me see him, let me hear him, one more time, please, please), and you reach out to him.  
There are tears streaming down his face, and you can't keep looking at him like this, you can't keep looking at him while he looks so miserable and so filled with pain and rage.  
You can feel your limbs getting more tired as time passes and the puddle of blood under you grew bigger. There was a healer (or maybe two, with the way the black spots in your vision were making it hard to see) tending to your wounds, but they weren't closing. You continued to lose blood, and he continued to scream for you.  
Those would echo in your mind even after death, you thought.  
You were crying too, you noticed. You didn't think you would leave so soon, you didn't think you would have to see him looking at you like this so soon, you didn't think any of this would happen /so soon/.  
It wasn't fair.  
None of this was fair; you still had so many things to do and to achieve and you were running out of time, which seemed endless before.  
You should've known, you should've fucking /known/.  
-  
You can't feel the magic around you anymore. You think they've given up. You think they've accepted you can't be saved.  
He hasn't.  
 _He never will_ , you think.  
It's getting harder to keep your eyes open and it's getting harder to breathe and it's getting harder to stay _alive_ , and you can't hold on anymore.  
"I love you." you say, because there are black spots in your vision and he's screaming so loud you can't hear yourself, but you can't bring yourself to say anything other than that, even if you think he won't hear you.  
All you hear is your name when you leave.


End file.
